Skip to main content

The ultimate whistle blower

Suddenly piles and loads and millions upon millions of moneys are being discovered in water tanks, in dry soak aways, in unoccupied slum buildings and in stylish most expensive sky scrapers. These are not really discoveries. After all, somebody or some people put such moneys where they are being discovered. The discoveries are being made by institutions set up to combat corruption and abuse of office in high places.
The figures are mind-bugling! Fifty million US dollars. Thousands of British pounds. Billions of Nigerian naira. And Euros in their millions are here reposing in unhealthy closeness to one another.
Naturally, ordinary Nigerians marvel at the discovery of these humongous sums of money. They wonder what these sums could do to restore hospital to our empty buildings labelled hospitals. They imagine what magic they could do to our wretched motor paths, turning them instead to motor ways. And our decrepit public universities could breathe better with 21st century university equipment for teaching and research. They think of electricity, that elusive magic maker of all modern industrialised developments. They dream of portable water without which cleanliness (which is next to Godliness) is impossible. Whose moneys are these, people wish to know. Who owns sum funds. The crime busters suspect that whoever owns them is a criminal right from the word ‘go’.
These places of found moneys are not branches of banks. What is of great surprise is that nobody has link these moneys to the money-spewing kneeling victims of ritual processes that used dogs on two legs ( which is double talk for a human being to be sacrificed for money making/spewing purposes). After all we are forever glued to these television films where humans are used so that someone can have moneys galore for ever more. So, don’t look further and ask nobody who has these moneys, they belong in those fantasy tales of our horror film industry.
Perhaps proving ownership might be a little problem. They would have to bring the Babalawo as well as the aafa and the holier than thou prophet who organised the dog that was used. They would have to produce the magic process and they would then point to the money discovered as prophesied by the seeing Babalawo, the Quran reciting aafa and the prophets sing prophet. But will the courts accept these as evidence of ownership of such stupendous wealth?
While we wait for claimants to present themselves and their evidence of ownership to the courts, the Aunty-Corruption institutions are carrying the money to the government coffers where it came from in the first place. But where does it go to in the government coffers? From which ministry or para-statal does the money come from? Is it being returned there where it can then depart to fulfil its original mandate? As a general question, where are all the recovered moneys since the beginning of Aunty Corruption’s existence? Or is it a case of recovery and re-stealing a new to be hidden somewhere else until discovered by Aunty Corruption again?
Talking about making claims on these moneys, someone in whose house some ten million moneys was discovered said they are not the proceeds of corruption but the proceeds of gifts. Millions of moneys gifted to him on various occasions. Will he bring forth the generous givers of these moneys so the courts can check their bona fide? What service did I he perform to deserve gifts in millions of moneys?
The money is too much. In Chinua Achebe’s second novel NO LONGER AT EASE, a young graduate from an English university returns home and he is posted to the scholarship section of the Ministry of Education. He takes a bribe from a young lady applying for scholarship. For this he is arrested, tried and sent to prison. That was in the 1960s. Fast forward to the 21st century. Ministry officials nowadays take the whole budget for the scholarship. Finish. Who has time for little small bribe change when the whole scholarship budget is sitting there ready to be moved to a soak away nearby.
There is something we have not touched about these discoveries of so much money. Why are they being discovered now? After all these moneys were not put there yesterday. Or even the day before. These moneys are being brought to daylight because of the whistle blower. Think of the various games we play and think of the powerful instrument that the referee uses to call attention to infractions of the rules of the game. The consequence follows immediately. Foul playing is not allowed. The whistle blower is walking and working amongst us. And with enthusiasm and alacrity. This is because this whistle blower gets a percentage of the money discovered. What percentage this is depends on various circumstances which surround the moneys discovered. Even if it is just two and a half per cent of billions, it is not small money. It could be five or even ten per cent, who knows?
Those who think they have discovered a new profession in whistle blowing must be careful. The whistle grows thorns at the mouth piece. Lips hastily placed on the whistle are bloodied before the blowing can take place. It is not everybody who can be a whistle blower. It is only those who are close to the specific moneys that can blow the whistle loud and clear so that those who should hear will hear. Questions will arise. How did I you know about the place of these moneys? Did you help in placing the moneys there? Did you know the sources of the moneys when they were being placed there? You can’t come round about having some magic wand that smells out hidden moneys.
This is why the best whistle blow in the world and therefore in Nigeria today is the person who hid the money there in the first place. It is in his ultimate interest to blow the whistle himself. Like in the game of golf. You are your own referee! The ultimate whistle blower calculates that while he would not have the whole moneys, he would get a good percentage. And he will not be punished. Good business whistle blowing Nigerian style!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

16-year-old pupil impregnated by vice principal gives birth

A 16-year-old pupil of the Government Secondary School, Tunga, Niger State, Faith Galadima, who was impregnated by the school’s vice principal, Mohammed Mohammed, has given birth to a baby boy. The teenager was delivered of the baby at Injita village, Munya Local Government Area of Niger State. The VP had allegedly slept with the pupil sometime in March this year, putting her in the family way. Mohammed was arraigned in court on April 4, 2017 and is standing trial on two counts of unlawful sexual intercourse with a child, and impregnating a female pupil. The accused was remanded in the prison custody for three months after he pleaded not guilty to the charges. The presiding magistrate, Fatima Auna, had granted the VP bail in the sum of N1m, which she said was in line with sections 35 and 36 of the 1999 constitution, and sections 341 and 342 of the Criminal Procedure Code. The victim, who narrated her ordeal to journalists on Tuesday, said that she gave birth to the bab...

2018: Buhari bans recruitment by MDAs, presents N8.612tn budget

President Muhammadu Buhari on Tuesday banned fresh recruitment by all Federal Government Ministries, Departments and Agencies, except by presidential approval. He said this was to manage a rising personnel expenditure that was expected to increase to 12 per cent in 2018. He disclosed that overhead cost would also rise by N26bn in 2018 or 12 per cent increase. Buhari spoke when he presented the estimates of the 2018 budget to a joint session of the Senate and the House of Representatives in Abuja. The President laid a budget size of N8.612tn before the legislature for 2018, an increase of N1.7tn from the N7.44tn appropriated in 2017. Buhari, who wore sky-blue Hausa native attire and a matching cap, addressed lawmakers for 1hour and13minutes amid applause and intermittent murmurs by senators and members of the House. The President said he had released up to N450bn out of the N2.2tn budgeted for 2017 capital projects as of the end of October. He promised to raise the im...

Herdsmen demand head, body parts of slain colleague

Fulani herdsmen under the aegis of Miyetti Allah Cattle Breeders Association of Nigeria on Tuesday demanded the head and other body parts of one of their colleagues who was killed during a clash with farmers in Ugala, Yala Local Government Area of Cross River State. The slain herdsman, identified simply as Buba, was said to have been beheaded, during a fight between Fulani herdsmen and farmers in the community on Sunday. Several other persons sustained injuries in the fracas. The Vice Chairman of the MACBAN, Alhaji Abdurrahman Abdul, who led a delegation of herdsmen on a visit to the Assistant Inspector-General of Police in charge of Zone Six, Calabar, Mr. Abubakar Marafa, said three other members of the association had been declared missing since the incident happened. He told Southern City News that Buba was on his way to rescue one of his shepherds who was allegedly attacked by farmers when the  incident occurred, adding that the Cross River State Governor, Prof. Ben ...